on the shoulders

these past years

now 27

i have

never

I hope

ignored denied

a single plea

for help

that I knew

sometimes

the codebook

is not at the ready

sentences are

cryptic

uneven

halting

the language of pain

spat through

yellowed teeth

from a bile

that is generations

long

deep

somehow

these old bastards

struck gold

shut up

long enough

for the

Master to whisper

harsh magic

then

through

non scientific trial and error

gave forth something

which allowed

people to stop

killing themselves and others

slowly

I cannot transmit this secret

as it were

any other way

save by living

oft times I wanted

to shout it in some poor fuckers

soul

just to stop their pain

so eviscerating

to try to help before

I am asked

and

of course

that simply doesn't work

I see them

though

those folks

who havent

didnt

make it

I know each time

someone falls it

diminishes all

and know that the priviledge

I have is

the gift to live

and each day

despite myself

i have to learn

to be more generous

more compassionate

more loving

in returning it

to it's source