What about Bob?

In early January,my dear friend of over 20 years,Bob Schmid, died of cancer. He was but 60, and had fought liver cancer and hepatitis C for years. I had the privilege of keeping him company many a night down the long road toward death. Our conversations ranged from our childhoods' to food[always a favorite subject] to gambling[he loved to gamble loved Vegas spent three night trying to teach me carribean poker,then gave up saying "I don't have THAT much time left"}to horses{he loved horses,not just horse racing,though he loved the ponies at the track]to movies[he loved westerns] and music[he loved do-wop and beautiful voices,though Glenn Gould's Goldberg was often playing while he slept}Bob was a big man, about 6' 3" , and a solid 210+.A big hombre with a deep voice and a loud laugh, he had a high pitched ,angelic singing voice.He told me one night that one of the really tragic things about cancer was that he could no longer sing.One night, I brought rolling Stone magazine with me, their issue about the 100 greatest singers, and we spent that evening talking about concerts[he saw James Brown and Sam Cooke in the 50's} and singers over hot bagels and tea and juice. One of Bob's truly great virtues, besides his incredible kindness, was his sense of humor,which he found in everything. I mean everything. A few times, he actually faked dying on me, then said either"boo" or "gotcha" when I went to check his pulse.While he was in the hospice, finally ,in the end, struggling for breath, i went closed to his face, held his hand and said"Bob ,you have been a good friend for so many years..."he opened his eyes,took off the oxygen mask, looked over at Annie sitting in the corner of the room, rolled his eyes and said"Oh no, here it comes!" He was perhaps the least sentimental person I have known. He was asked by numerous clergy if he wanted to speak to a priest or minister[he was raised Lutheran] and he would say"ah, no thanks,save it for someone else"One night I asked if he would trade his sobriety for a cancer free life. It seemed a legitimate question , at least at 3 AM[Bob was sober just about 28 years}"No," he said, quickly and quite emphatically," because I wouldn't have the friends that I have,I wouldn't have this." He was always the big brother I never had, talked to me when I needed it, read me the riot act when needed, too.He was big, good and kind, and the reason he didn't need a minister to anoint him was that God had done so long before .Even now I catch myself laughing at something he said or did. He loved deeply his Sister and Brother in law, his niece and nephew, and his companion of many years and her children and grandchildren,all of whom he spoke of,almost nightly, worrying about them,telling wonderful stories and anecdotes. I waited till now to write of him, because I wanted some clarity, which time affords.Sleep well my friend, as you dance among the stars.My life was improved the moment I met you.